Crazy season takes surreal turn
By Ray Hamill
It’s certainly been an interesting season so far for the Miami Dolphins, although I’m not sure anyone knew it was going to get quite this interesting.
But like a cheesy daytime soap opera, nothing seems too crazy these days for the scriptwriters in As The Dolphins World Turns, and nothing too shocking or too unbelievable.
Indeed, there have been plenty of storylines to keep us intrigued and guessing, and coming back for more.
Even before the first offensive snap of the preseason, the Dolphins had a number of key injuries and lost two starters for the year, including quarterback Ryan Tannehill, arguably the team’s most important player.
The players and their families were then displaced for the first week of the season because of Hurricane Irma and the team was forced to forfeit a much-needed bye week later in the campaign.
A week later, the soap opera took on an almost Twilight Zone feel when Miami’s biggest offseason free agent signing – veteran linebacker and team leader Lawrence Timmons – went inexplicably AWOL the night before the season opener, before being suspended indefinitely.
Then came the trip to London, taking the team’s travel mileage to well over 10,000 for the month, and leaving the Dolphins without a home game until the second week of October.
The sad part is all of those troubles have paled in comparison to the team’s on-field struggles, and it’s really saying something when QB Jay Cutler is coming off what is statistically the worst game of his Hall of Shame career and he barely cracks the top five problems on the offensive side of the ball.
By now, you’d have been forgiven for thinking things couldn’t get any worse.
But you’d have been wrong.
And on Sunday night, video footage surfaced of the team’s offensive line coach apparently doing lines of cocaine and mouthing off some nonsensical drivel – while at work!
(“No way guys, that’s going too far. There’s just no way our viewers will believe that storyline, even for a cheesy soap opera like As The Dolphins World Turns.”)
To make matters even more bizarre, the coach in question, Chris Foerster, is one of the most highly touted and highest paid assistant coaches in the entire league.
He certainly knows his lines.
And he certainly knows how to be offensive.
I suppose if it was going to happen anywhere, it was bound to be in Miami, the home of Scarface himself.
But what makes this particular story particularly incredulous is not so much that this idiot was apparently doing cocaine at work – which can be at least explained if not forgiven by the nature of addiction – but that he actually filmed it and spoke like an imbecile into the camera while doing so.
Tony Montana had more class.
This is hardly the sort of leader you want molding and directing the most important unit of your team, and the heart and soul of any football team.
(It’s also not the first controversy to plague the Dolphins O-line in recent times either, with “bullygate” still fresh in the memory banks.)
So the Dolphins had no choice but to end their relationship with Foerster, who was forced to resign this morning and insists he’s going to seek help.
And that leaves the team with a massive hole to address before a tough trip to the Super Bowl runners-up next weekend.
Dolphins head coach Adam Gase looked flabbergasted by the news.
“Since I’ve been around him, he’s always been a guy that just puts his head down and works,” Gase said of Foerster. “He was here at 4 in the morning.”
And now we apparently know why.
Tune in next week for another episode of As The Dolphins World Turns.